Police and Crime Commissioners: The Parable of the Empty Ballot Box

The crest of Eton College. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A rich man came from Eton to London. On his way to being appointed ruler of his people, his deputy said to him:

"You are a rich man, my Lord, with properties in Oxfordshire and London. When you are ruler, the bankers will demand their money from the people you rule. When that happens, the people may turn against you as you strip their assets. Hear my words, then, and listen to what I say.

Let it be when you are ruler, that all people, high and low, man and woman, great and small, rich and poor, gather in every place where they live. Let them choose for themselves men and women of good character, wise and just, to be their police and crime commissioners, to administer justice, to appoint chief constables and to set locally-targeted policing priorities. Let them be paid between £65,000 and £100,000 by the people who choose them, that the people may love you when the bankers have stripped them."  

The deputy's words pleased the rich man for he thought, "Surely to choose one's own police and crime commissioner is more precious than silver; and to set locally-targeted policing priorities is more valuable than gold." 

And so it came to pass that when the rich man was made ruler of the people, he remembered the words that his deputy had spoken to him. He sent heralds throughout the kingdom to announce that all people, high and low, man and woman, great and small, rich and poor should gather in every place where they lived and, on a dark and wet day in November, choose for themselves men and women of good character, wise and just, to be their police and crime commissioners, to administer justice, to appoint chief constables and to set locally-targeted policing priorities.

"This will make the people love me when the bankers have stripped them," said the rich man to himself. 

But when the heralds went forth, the people of the land rejected the words that were spoken to them. Some, they threw in their bins; some they ignored, and some they turned off while they were speaking through their televisions.

When the day came, the people announced with one voice, 

"We will not gather in every place where we live. We will not choose for ourselves men and women of good character, wise and just, to be our police and crime commissioners, to administer justice, to appoint chief constables and to set locally-targeted policing priorities. We will not pay them between £65,000 and £100,000 of our own money while the bankers strip our assets." 

And so it came to pass that from Cornwall to Newcastle, the people of the land did not gather in every place where they lived. They did not choose for themselves men and women of good character, wise and just to be their police and crime commissioners, to administer justice, to appoint chief constables and to set locally-targeted policing priorities.

When he heard this, the rich ruler was dismayed. But the rich ruler decided to pay the new commissioners anyway, between £65,000 and £100,000 of the people's own money, while the bankers stripped their assets. "For," said the rich ruler, "If I cannot make the people love me,  surely at least these commissioners will welcome me. For you cannot fool all of the people all of the time, but you can fool most of the people some of the time."

And the deputy pondered these things in his heart.

 

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